Exhausting

Where do I even begin?
I was released from my MFM to my OB on Monday, February 18th. It wasn't the appointment I hoped for. I brought my daughter along thinking I'd get a final look over meaning checking by ultrasound that placement of the cerclages were good, a final check of the cervical length and to make sure baby's fluids were good where they should be.

What I got was a nurse practitioner asking how I felt, and that I wouldn't be seeing my doctor because he was out on vacation or any doctor because there would be no exam done unless I had a concern. I did, I wanted my discharged checked to make sure all was normal. So the on call doctor came in and she checked my discharge all was normal and my stitches looked good. I expressed my concern about a final ultrasound check and I was refused one so I left pretty angry and hurt due to my history.

Fastforward to Thursday at about 3am I get up to pee with a pretty good soreness in my bladder. I go to work and it doesn't let up I end up cramping off and on all day with no relief after peeing. I leave work a little early to see my OB, at this point the pain really isn't there too much but I keep my appointment. They take my urine, do a speculum exam and tell me that my cervix and stitches look fine and I'm free to leave.

Around 7pm is where the pain hit me again and it's rolling pain come between 3 and 4 minutes apart. I call my OB after hours for the on call OB and get her opinion. I tell her about my symptoms and my visit earlier and she instructs me to go to L&D. They would be able to get a fast turn around on my urine to see if anything is up. I go down and give my urine, after waiting a while the doctor comes in and states there is nothing much they could for my cramping or anything due to me being so early at 22 weeks they wouldn't do anything to help me or save my baby (which is bullshit since the NICU works on 22 weekers). They perform a speculum exam again and all looks good to them. My urine comes back fine and I'm free to go without any explanation or solution.

Anatomy Scan

I had my anatomy scan last week at 18 weeks on the dot and all was well with baby. He measured ahead and weighed 9oz already! Over half a pound. He was kicking around and keeping his hands near his face. For the 3rd time we verified he is still in fact a boy! THANKFULLY my cervix looked good, it was between 3.6cm and 3.7cm so no changes, which I am happy about! It's crazy to think next Thursday I will be halfway through this pregnancy. I have my follow up ultrasound/cervical check with MFM February 8th. I am counting down the days! In the meantime I have my second OB appointment this Friday. Last time I only saw my OB twice so I wonder what this appointment will be like. Probably urine, weight, and blood pressure I'm assuming. Until next time!

Week 17 on Thursday

I will be heading into my 17th week on Thursday. I am glad I am being checked out every 2 weeks BUT the time in between appointments kills me. At my two week check up last week a BOY was confirmed! Also, my cervix had an average measurement of 3.6cm so it appears I am .2 cm up from the previous measurement, which is completely fine with me.

I had to get an EKG done because the doctor wasn't too fond of my heart rate. It has always been high but they wanted to get me tested to rule out any abnormalities with my heart. I'm still waiting on those results. That test was done on Thursday, Jan 10th so If I haven't heard anything I'm thinking I may be in the clear. I also had an early glucose test done. I PASSED with flying colors. I will probably be retested at 28 weeks the nutritionist informed me. It's so crazy to think that I could make it that far and beyond. 

This time last time around shit was already hitting the fan. I was on bedrest with cerclage number 1 already placed. Aside from elevated blood pressure and a higher than average heart rate things are moving fairly well and I couldn't be happier. I just need things to stay this way and all will be well in my world.

My Level II (Anatomy Scan) is scheduled for my 18th week. That means 10 days from today which will include my cervical check. I know things can change in a split second so I'm so paranoid right before my ultrasounds. I don't think I will ever be able to relax until I have my term baby in my arms.

Hello Second Trimester

I am 14 weeks 2 days today. On Wednesday the day AFTER Christmas after being at work only an hour I felt terrible enough to leave and get into the doctor's office. I was diagnosed with the damn FLU. Being pregnant there really isn't a whole lot of things you can take. Thankfully I can take Tamiflu and Tylenol for the fever. I am actually feeling a bit better today.

I met with my MFM doctor yesterday because that was the deciding factor or whether or not to go through with the cerclage or keep a close eye on things. After the consult we decided to keep an eye on things. I am really hoping that since it has been so long between pregnancies and there is only a singleton this time my cervix will work in my favor.

It measured 3.5cm last week and 3.4cm this week so no huge differences which was a huge relief.
(I think the measurements from the 12 week scan may have been off) So we decided to do another check in 2 weeks and I can only hope for the same outcome. During this appointment the doctor wanted to check out the pathology report on the twins' placentas and they both tested positive for infection. I am now finding this out 7 years later and who knows how the infection got there. Was it because my cervix started to open or did infection cause the opening? Or was it the first cerclage, or the second? I'll never know but that is a scary thing to think about.

This whole flu thing is making me extra nervous for baby but cervix looked find and baby had a good heart rate of 150, also it looks like it might be a little boy! They will verify the gender in 2 weeks when I go back.

AT THE 12 WEEK MARK

Because I am SUPER paranoid I requested a cervix length check, could you blame me?
That was yesterday at 12 weeks, happy 12 weeks to me! From past ultrasounds at 7 weeks and change, my cervix measused at 4cm for the most part. I know at 12 weeks the baby weighs pretty much nothing and no real change would happen until about 14 weeks on, but even then I wanted some reassurance.

They started the ultrasound abdominally, after a while into that and looking at the baby I asked (since I know abdominally isn't as accurate) for a trans vaginal check and I was quite suprised. There was a whole cm difference between the two. Abdominally I was measuring 5.4cm and trans vaginally I was measuring 6.4cm. 6.4cm!? How the hell? That is such a HIGH measurement. Last time I never even heard a number above 3.5cm. Needless to say I can relax right now.

I literally had the most awesome ultrasound tech. I did not expect all the ultrasound photos or to even see much of the baby, only to check the cervix. She took a bunch of photos and even let me watch baby bounce around for a while, it was too sweet.

I have my MFM appointment next Wednesday, Dec. 19th and I am hoping they will do their own exam and we'll come up with a game plan from there. I LOVE my preemie to death but I AM NOT TEAM PREEMIE this time around.

How was Everyone's Thanksgiving?

I spent mine in Boston, eating all the foods and enjoyed every minute of it!
Ended up Black Friday shopping, no not at 5AM more like 11 so it wasn't as bad but I was surprised there weren't better sales.

Fast forward to today. I have my NT scan. Last I saw baby (last week) I was measuring 4 days ahead. When I should've been 9 weeks 6 days I was measuring 10 weeks 3 days...so let's see if that's what the trend will be today.

This scan measures the fluid behind the next to make sure baby doesn't appear to have Down Syndrome or any other abnormalities. I'm excited to see baby and how much change there is in a week.

Due to my history I've been thinking A LOT about my cervix and clerclages. I finally have my MFM appointment December 19th so we will definitley be going over that. If we move on it and not go with the "wait and see approach" I want to bring up having a TAC (trans abdominal cerclage) done rather than a TVC (transvaginal cerclage).

From what I've read when you have a TAC you shouldn't have any limitations or be put on bed rest and in my situation would be the best for me. I should be a few days into my 12th week at that appointment so baby should still be small enough to have that done.

My ultimate goal is to avoid another preemie at all costs, I would love nothing more than a healthy term baby.

What's This?

I'll be posting more now that a surprise has just made an appearance in my life. 
Can you guess what it is? October 24th, just TWO days before my birthday I found out I'm pregnant. The "pregnant line" was darker than the "test line"...talk about nerve wracking. October 29th I had an ultrasound dating me at 6 weeks on the dot based off the size of the gestational sac and yolk sac because no fetal pole could be seen yet. (Too early? Maybe)

The earliest ultrasound I have of the twins was at 6 weeks 5 days so I'll hold out some hope. My next ultrasound isn't scheduled until November 9th and because I'm going crazy wondering what if, I made an appointment for a free ultrasound elsewhere tomorrow morning. That will put me at 6 weeks 4 days and I am hoping baby and a great heart rate will be seen!

If you know my story or have read through previous posts you know my journey to get pregnant was NEVER easy. Countless infertility treatments and heartache. So 7 years later here I am trying to be optimistic but because of my history, cautiously optimistic. 

My little 1 lb 4oz 23/3 day micro preemie will be 7 in August. I cannot take it.
She will be going into the 2nd grade this year and time is flying by like nothing.
I turned 30 this past year, Yikes! So many changes in the past few years.
She is still getting services through her school, such as occupational therapy,
physical therapy and speech. She has made TONS of progress and I am so proud.

In the beginning you really have no idea what to expect. I honestly didn't. I didn't know
if I would ever be able to have a conversation with my child, would she understand?
Would she even be able to feed her self, walk, go to school or make friends?

The answer to that is you never will know those answers but with time things change.

I know I always mention I want to keep this blog up every time I post, but I do!
I still want to be there for those going through what I did and those who may have
questions. So PLEASE feel free to reach out, be active on my posts, I will answer!