Week 17 on Thursday

I will be heading into my 17th week on Thursday. I am glad I am being checked out every 2 weeks BUT the time in between appointments kills me. At my two week check up last week a BOY was confirmed! Also, my cervix had an average measurement of 3.6cm so it appears I am .2 cm up from the previous measurement, which is completely fine with me.

I had to get an EKG done because the doctor wasn't too fond of my heart rate. It has always been high but they wanted to get me tested to rule out any abnormalities with my heart. I'm still waiting on those results. That test was done on Thursday, Jan 10th so If I haven't heard anything I'm thinking I may be in the clear. I also had an early glucose test done. I PASSED with flying colors. I will probably be retested at 28 weeks the nutritionist informed me. It's so crazy to think that I could make it that far and beyond. 

This time last time around shit was already hitting the fan. I was on bedrest with cerclage number 1 already placed. Aside from elevated blood pressure and a higher than average heart rate things are moving fairly well and I couldn't be happier. I just need things to stay this way and all will be well in my world.

My Level II (Anatomy Scan) is scheduled for my 18th week. That means 10 days from today which will include my cervical check. I know things can change in a split second so I'm so paranoid right before my ultrasounds. I don't think I will ever be able to relax until I have my term baby in my arms.

AT THE 12 WEEK MARK

Because I am SUPER paranoid I requested a cervix length check, could you blame me?
That was yesterday at 12 weeks, happy 12 weeks to me! From past ultrasounds at 7 weeks and change, my cervix measused at 4cm for the most part. I know at 12 weeks the baby weighs pretty much nothing and no real change would happen until about 14 weeks on, but even then I wanted some reassurance.

They started the ultrasound abdominally, after a while into that and looking at the baby I asked (since I know abdominally isn't as accurate) for a trans vaginal check and I was quite suprised. There was a whole cm difference between the two. Abdominally I was measuring 5.4cm and trans vaginally I was measuring 6.4cm. 6.4cm!? How the hell? That is such a HIGH measurement. Last time I never even heard a number above 3.5cm. Needless to say I can relax right now.

I literally had the most awesome ultrasound tech. I did not expect all the ultrasound photos or to even see much of the baby, only to check the cervix. She took a bunch of photos and even let me watch baby bounce around for a while, it was too sweet.

I have my MFM appointment next Wednesday, Dec. 19th and I am hoping they will do their own exam and we'll come up with a game plan from there. I LOVE my preemie to death but I AM NOT TEAM PREEMIE this time around.

Turning Over a New Leaf

         Hello hello! Last I posed Madison was about 2 1/2. Well she just had her birthday in August and she a now a 4 year old. F-O-U-R can you believe it!? I can't believe it. Some of you have been with me through this journey from the start and I appreciate all your support. Lets see...where do I begin? I am now divorced and it will be a year Oct. 28th yay! I have now been with my current boyfriend for over a year, it goes by way too quick! Madison is now in her LAST year of preschool and she will be an official kindergartener this September! SO CRAZY!.

      I went back to work this past March after almost 3 years and was given a Full-time position this past August and I officially got my first EVER brand new car ON MY OWN this past Monday. Things are really looking up and I couldn't be more excited.

     I've also started another journey. I've found a company called Le-Vel. It is a wellness program designed to help in everyday life, to give you balance, more energy, adequate sleep and so much more! Want to know more? Sign up for a FREE account here ThriveCecelia.Le-Vel.com  and always stay informed! You can also reach me here by email: ThriveCecelia  earn FREE PRODUCTS for yourself by signing up for a FREE PROMOTOR account and getting others to sign up as well all you need is two people under yourself to receive auto-ship products.

     I'm glad I decided to come back and post, it seems there are still people out there looking at my blog and reading about my experiences and I'm glad I could share and give others hope. Here are two current photos of my mini and I. Enjoy!

Somewhat of an update

Well hello my loyal followers. It has been forever once again, but I'm keeping up periodic check-ins. Madison is now a little over 2 1/2, and that's crazy. We've been trying play groups with her through EI and the first one didn't work out. That one was where we'd drop her off and leave. We are now trying one where I stay with her. She's been there twice now. The first visit didn't go so well but the last one was pretty good...I think it is because we got there before anyone else so she settled in before all the commotion.

EI pushing for preschool and I'm on board I'm just really nervous because she has issues adjusting and no one really knows about her. How to settle her down or just deal with her in general. She's pretty sensitive.

As for my life I'm in my second semester of college and there's only a few weeks left until summer vacation. I can't wait! There really wasn't a spring break seeing as I had work to do all through it. Trying to get this divorce started,over and done with ASAP. ANDD I think that's about it. I'm going to the gym almost daily. 5 - 6 days a week...that's just kind of what I do haha. I've lost 47lbs since starting in November and still working on a bunch more haha.




An updated photo of the babes and I <3

New Beginnings

Madison is too old and too wise for my liking. Such a cleaver girl. So smart it's ridiculous! She's walking way more than she is crawling. She is so silly and just the biggest love of my life and can be the biggest pain in my butt but a pain I would never change. She is just the sweetest and I wish I could have her innocence.

As for what I'm up to I'm still in school and determined to pass all my classes. I can't wait until next semester I'm already wanting to change my classes! I am having the hardest time with math..any suggestions? I'm still doing a little modeling...movie extra stuff when I have the time which I absolutely LOVE! I finally filed for divorce officially so now I'm just kind of waiting on his response.

Now that I think about IVF and everything "we" went through to have these child(ren) it saddens me how selfish someone can be. I still have these frozen embryos I'm supposed to be paying on but haven't, that I will most likely never use because all my eggs were fertilized with a man's sperm I'm no longer with. I'm not sure I'll ever get the chance to have another child without going through IVF I just wish I would've spared some eggs and froze them but who would've known I'd actually get the nerve up to kick him out of my life..

...On a happier not I have been the happiest I've been in a long time. So I leave you all with a little shot of us :)

This was either from August or September.

Moving on

I apologize for not posting in about three months I've just been doing a lot of things all at once. Life has been getting better. The husband and I are still apart and plan to stay that way...I will be filing for divorce.

I am officially enrolled in school, I have a car and with my couple nights I get off a week I'm actually doing things for myself. I'm getting back into modeling a bit and just doing awesome stuff. I've met up with a few friends from elementary school and it was so great seeing them and catching up. I've been on a few dates but nothing really came of anything and I don't want to be tired down just yet.

*I did see your comment asking how Madison was a couple months back but forgot to respond I am sorry*

Friday, August 16th we celebrated Dexter and Sunday, August 18th we had Madison's birthday party. Monday, August 19th was her actual birthday and this child is TWO! Can you believe it!? So to answer your questions Madison is doing GREAT, she is just go go go all the time, shes starting to walk more without support, crawling up stairs and will walk up normally with her hand(s) being held.

I was going through photos months ago of her and photos of her now and it's just crazy how much she has grown! I honestly have maybe 5 photos total of her and her father...it's just sad. He came to her Birthday late for about 20 minutes. I had to ask him to sit next to her so I can take a pic. He pretty much ran out of the door with his mother and grandmother. He didn't watch her open presents, or even eat any cake. She screams when either of them hold her...I just feel bad.

They expect me to always be on them to see her and that's not something I want to do..I figure they want to see her they will be in touch...and they aren't. Her dad completely ignores me and well I guess that's how it will be.

Here are some pictures for your viewing enjoyment!

 
                   

 

MY FAVORITE!  Taken Aug 18th

ME :)
Artistic Director: Jennifer Evie
Photographer: James DeMello
Dress: Gifts to Give/ Project Cinderella

With the end of July upon us...

comes August. That brings heart ache and excitement. It brings with it many emotions and memories coming back to consume me, It means I have lost my son Dexter and had another grow up right in front of me. That miracle baby that will be 1 soon enough. I know many of you have followed me from the "almost" start. I started this blog at about 18 weeks, two weeks after getting my cerclage and being put on strict bed rest.

A lot of you have been with me through the ups and most importantly the down, down and down again. It has been one hell of a ride. I'm sure a lot of the times you all thought I was nuts I've sure I've said many odd things at my low times. I know most of you have been through my gief with me and for that I'm thankful. Even looking back now whether it was on blogger or through other sites I was on I had so much support right up until shit hit the fan and even after. I always had someone to share such kind words and it helped me get to where I am today. August 16th will mark Dexter's life and dealth one short year ago. Madisons brings so much happiness and craziness to the house, I still even though I have said it before imagine what he would have been like. It would have been amazing to see them play and laugh together.

I didn't mean for this to be a downer post so lets switch it up. Madison's birthday is August 19th and well bring the creative person I am, I'm thinking of making her a cake for her birthday. I'm not talking back a cake slather frosting on it and write happy birthday on it, I'm talking a three dimensional cake. A fairy cake to be exact. With mushrooms and hills with sparkles and layers and fillings. No I have NEVER backed a cake like that BUT I know I can do it and it will be AWESOME! I'm trying to come up with an exact design in my head but it'd be harder to put down on paper. I have about 3 weeks to get it perfect. I will have to do some tester cakes in the mean time. Once I get the tools I will get to backing and show you all and get your opinions if I could.