Saturday, April 28, 2012

BPD Clinic

Madison had her appointment on Tuesday. We finally got her sleep study results back and well...of course Mom was right she didn't need it :D AND we got another medication taken away. Now we only have 3 left :D So things are going good with her. She seems to be having a low grade fever between 99 and 100. She was pulling on her ear so we thought she could have an ear infection but he ears are all good so they brought up possible teething. So it could be that. If it goes on until tomorrow back to the doctors we go.

Monday, April 23, 2012

What is this?

I seem to be stuck in another odd period thing. Its now onto 3 weeks and counting. It has never been heavy or enough for a full out pad or tampon just enough to stain your brand new panties UGH! But I don't know whats going started around the same time as last month so its some type of period right? I think another call to the doctor is in order. Who should I see this time? I saw a nurse practitioner last time?

We're back

The cruise was amazing. I had no clue what to expect. There was magic shows., hypnosis, and a bunch of other shows that were awesome. The Bahamas was absolutely breathtaking. I've never seen water so blue. We went to the blue lagoon beach in the Bahamas and my husband and I just relaxed on a hammock the whole day and it was awesome to listen to the palm trees rustle and feel the warm breeze. I wasn't in the sun much that day because I got really burnt from the beach the day before but it was great! We got back Saturday afternoon. Yesterday was a memorial service for all those who lost their lives in 2011. A friend of mine had their name called ( I think I mentioned him in a previous post) and of course my baby boy's name was called also. We lit our candles for Dexter and decorated a piece of cloth for a quilt they put together every year. It was a very nice service. A few nurses and doctors who knew us were there. We brought Madison along and she did very well a couple outbursts but overall was a good girl. Everyone came up to us and saw Madison. It was very nice :)

Monday, April 9, 2012

So yeah..

We had a bit of running around yesterday. The original plan was for my mom, dad, husband, baby and I to visit Dexter at the cemetery then go to the hospital and see my father in law. That didn't happened my parents had their issue so just the hubby and I went...too cold for the baby to go out unfortunately. My mom had us take along a plant to give to him and a card. The hubs had his card and I got a card for him saying "Grandpa," from Madison. I thought it would be a cute idea to add her scribbles into it. I took one of the photos with her next to the bunny and put "Happy Birthday Grandpa," on it and gave him a picture of her. Tears were shed (because of the hubby's card) and cake was eaten. It was a bittersweet moment.
Well I don't think I've mentioned this before but hubby and I are taking a well needed vacation. We've never had a "real" vacation together meaning no longer then two days in a hotel and a walk on the beach, never had a honeymoon or really any money to do anything for ourselves. I feel like after all we've been through we could use some getaway time. SO my parents offered to watch Madison for a week (I'm already having separation anxiety) and we don't leave until Saturday. Anyway its a 7 day cruise leaving from New York to Florida and the Bahamas. I was excited 3 weeks ago when I booked it now I'm just nervous about leaving her...I'm cool with my parents having her overnight and the hubs and I go out for 5 hours at a time but this is totally different now. We don't have passports so if there were an emergency we can't get back home or could afford to so now everything that could go wrong is popping u p on the brain. The calls on board are ridiculous $7.95 for a call home off the ship, Oh and that's PER MINUTE! $0.50 cents a TEXT out on my cell phone even though I have unlimited.

It is bad I told my husband we need a "Titanic Plan..."

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Happy or Not

First of all I want to wish you all a Happy Easter or just a "Hello and thank you for reading!," for those of you who don't celebrate. Madison and I had a little photo shoot so I would like to share a couple photos with you all. But onto so not so awesome husband found out a couple days ago that his father has lymphoma. He went into the hospital a couple weeks ago because he was having really bad pain in his face pretty much thinking he had a sinus thing and after getting his nose reposition and some nasty stuff sucked out that was their finding. His birthday is on Easter thhe family and I will be going to visit. They are having a suprise thing for him with cake and all. Its hard for me to see him the way he is and I feel so awkward being there because I really don't know what to say or how to act...he and his wife were at my side daily while I was in the hospital dealing with what I had to for the babies and I feel like I can't really give that back to him because I can't have Madison really out like that. Life just knows when you tear you down.

Monday, April 2, 2012

One year ago today..

Faint second line but its there. April 2nd 2011
One year ago today I got the fainest positive on the second pregnancy test I took. First one being negative. It reassured me that the FET transfer indeed worked (for a second time) and that I was pregnant with the twins. Well it didn't say "this is a twin pregnancy," but we transferred two embryos and I knew they both took and I was for sure pregnant! It was the happiest moment but scariest moment. After knowing for sure I came up with anything that could possibly go wrong. I googled everything...and almost everything I thought of ended up happening. I ended up going to get checked soon after finding out I was probably around 5 weeks because of bleeding and I saw those two strong heartbeats so I knew they we both good and will survive at that point. Or first baby prior to the twins didn't have much of a heartbeat. I thought about bleeding, miscarriage threat being told at 14 weeks I may be 1cm dilated and that once I'm past 12 weeks the threat goes down...well hello I was past 12 weeks. I thought about my mom and how her cervix gave out on her two pregnancies prior to my birth I was the only survivor. I was about 28 weeks give or take born at 1lb 11 1/2ozs. Knowing that I made sure my OB knew I wanted to be checked right away but she didn't want to do it until I reachhed 15 weeks because thats when there would be a change and when I came to get checked that change was a HUGE one. I remember the ultrasound tech checking me and she was very quiet and asked me what I was here for and I said to get a cervical length check and she was quiet again. I remember saying "Is there something wrong? You scaring me." and she told me "you should be scared, you have barely any length left." And I remember balling my eyes out because I told him about this way early on and he just didn't understand." You all know the rest of the story so I won't repeat myself but this just brings back all those memories.
  I think I'm getting the start of my period and I kind of hoped it didn't start. I would LOVE to be pregnant again. But this is probably a good sign. I had what I thought was a period last month and this (whatever it is) has started again around the same time so maybe I'm ovulating...I don't know. For those of you who are like umm you don't know if its a period!? I never got a period before pregnancy unless it was medically induced so maybe my body is catching on and this Metformin is helping with my PCOS...