Monday, July 25, 2011

19 weeks 6 days

I'll be 20 weeks tomorrow. I think I'm coming to terms with the fact that this could all end really quickly. The baby A's bag of water is dipping past the stitch and I really don't see a good outcome. I'm pretty sure soon it will cause me to dilate and the water will break and could cause me to loose one or both babies which I can't even imagine going through right now. Everone is saying be positive please be positive but I don't think they understand the severity of the situation let alone whats really going on. Its more than just lay down and you'll be fine which I think is what they are thinking.
  My husband's grandmother said to me yesturday I feel so bad you have to lay down it must suck, yes it does but then she goes on to say its bad enough being pregnant now you have to be in bed. No, its bad when you can't get pregnant on your own go through extensive fertility treatments to get pregnant to loose the baby, then go through the treatments again get pregnant think everythings okay when its not, having a shitty cervix, being on bedrest then have my husband loose his job, I can't work and we can't pay our bills...I'm fine with be pregnant.

2 comments:

  1. Hey mama, dropped by from BBC Twins & multiples group via the link in your siggy. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Just wanted to say I'll be praying for ya and following your journey. Some people say you're not a mom until your babies are born. I think you become a mom the second you start trying to have a baby. You've been a mama for a while now and are being a damn good one doing everything you can to give these babies the best chance possible. <3

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  2. Thank you that really means a lot :)

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