December 13th 2011

Today is my due date. Madison is now 40 weeks old but close to 4 months now. Not sure if I updated about the contrast test but if I didn't she doesn't have any narrowing or scar tissues in her intestines she is just a slow digester. When I talked to them they were thinking about giving her meds to speed it up or just leave her that way, it was a question I forgot to ask. We had the oxygen & monitor training yesterday...it was scary but again its something we need to know. Hopefully by the time she comes home she wont need it. She she STILL needs to get her eating in order...the last 3 or so days she took her whole bottle for the morning feeds. Today she only took 4ccs....not a lot at all. I don't feel like they sit there and give her a chance to eat they probably rush her through it and is like oh well we will put it down the tube. I can't be there every second of the day to feed her and I wish I could it also doesn't help that this whole house is sick so we all can't see her. She is never going to come home if they don't give her a bit more time. But what is stupid too is that when she comes home they say feed her when ever she wants and how ever much she wants to eat but in the CCN its she needs to eat it all in this amount of time and at this specific time...really frustrating.

On the road to home we go...

but who knows exactly how long that will take. Madison is a 38 weeker

That TINY thread was thee oh so famous PICC line.

meaning her due date is in exactly 2 weeks from today. Her PICC line was removed yesterday and I was there to witness it. It literally looked like a thread, which was going into a major artery right above her heart. This morning around 6:30AM she was moved to CCN and its so different there. Everything seems a bit more quiet and no so fast paced. There were a few dings here and there but even then it seemed really calm. I went in for 3:00PM to do her usual feeding and they had already fed her. She took 18ccs and the rest down her tube. I was a bit upset because I woke the hubby up from his nap to rush and get down there to feed her and it was already done. The nurse did say to me she was up and looking for a bottle so I guess it was good they are trying to do it on her time more so than on an exact schedule. She is making me a bit nervous lately. When I've held or or my husband holds her after a while her heart rate drops a bit and her O2 levels and she sometime self corrects it and she seems good and it happens again then I get freaked out and I put her back in her bed and shes better. Last night I was holding her and she was acting up and her was dinging for a while and there was a nurse near by and didn't even turn around to see if she was okay. She was dipping into the 50s for her O2 level which should be 91+ and she didn't come over until I was like "Her oxygen is really low," and she was like "Oh shes coming up." By then she was in the 80s still dinging and shot back down to the lower 70s still dinging so I put her back, and I could have sworn her lips looked a bit blue to me. How am I going to know whats happening when we go home? Or if she is home on oxygen and a monitor how will I even enjoy being home with her when I'm just going to stare at her monitor making sure everything is going okay.