I do miss it!

I really miss being pregnant and I can't help thinking about our next pregnancy. I never fully got to enjoy this pregnancy at any point because from 16 weeks on every doctor appointment was a constant let down and I knew it was coming. I remembered thinking to myself as I worked overtime one night, I'm not going to be coming back to work...and it was true it was the start of strict bedrest for me. After having my babies and talking to the doctor and him saying "I want to plant the seed about birthcontrol," saying it wouldn't be impossible for me to get pregnant now fairly quickly because I could have a period in a couple weeks. I'm like well I don't get periods ever without being medically induced, so guess what no birth control is happening here I would love to be proved wrong but unfortunetly I doubt I will get pregnant on my own, it would have to take another FET I'm sure. But on the otherhand I always have a glimmer of hope. I was talking to my husband the other day saying if we didn't go through with IVF and FET at all I don't think I would've known I was pregnant, and if we were to get pregnant on our own because of everything that has happened I would be terrified. So the plan would be to check every month ha but then I would drive myself nuts doing that. Its a lose/lose situation really. As for a Madison update...there hasn't been much her once negative yeast culture has come back positive again so they switched her meds back to everyday instead of every other which I don't know why they did that in the first place...whatever. They think the murmur got bigger, oh joy. Her belly is still relatively big and she hasn't pooped on her own since the last time over a week ago. She is no breathing less on her own when she should be breathing a bit more and had to have her settings turned up a bit as of yesterday otherwise she is pretty stable...I really need something to be good that is more consistant.