Is this it?

Well we started today early (December 22nd 2011). I was at the hospital by 9AM in order to catch the doctors and find out when Madison was coming home. I don't remember if I said but Madison did really good with her surgery and was eating practically everything after not being able to eat for 12 hours prior to the surgery. So after an hour and a half a resident comes over and says "well are there any questions or concerns you have?" and I'm like yes "When is she coming home?" and she reply "I can't really say she is looking good but I have to make sure all the doctors are in order with it." I interrupt her saying she is taking pretty much all her bottles and that was the only thing we were waiting on pretty much. So we took her notes and said she had to get all the doctors together and talk it over. Meanwhile everyone and their mom is coming up to me asking when shes going home and I of course STILL have NO CLUE. So she comes back with another nurse maybe 45 minutes to an hour later and says "I have good news!" "We are planning to discharge her tomorrow." Boy was I happy but cautious because as you know in the NICU & CCN things can change very quickly. So I wore a smile in the back of my mind that night. I was told she had one more steroid eye drops for her eyes so she needed her last dose before she left. We estimated after 3:00PM she would be on her way home. So we left early in order to get our room extra cleaned set up her playard and buy more diapers, pretty much get everything situated. So we went back that night visited her fed her left and that was that for that night.

Our First Night

I figured since I knew we would spend the night tonight at the hospital I should use up my last 3 hours of PTO and leave work early to see the hubby for a bit and then go. So I did. We got to the hospital at about 7:50PM got our things situation and gazed at the cutest little girl in the world. So we put our stuff in the room which is a sauna by the way, ha then came back out. I did her meds and fed her. She took all but 2ccs which I don't think the nurse even wrote down. So 42 ccs total. So she was put back to need and wheeled in our room so I'm just kind of sitting her waiting for her next feed at 12AM but it will probably be a bit sooner. She has been fairly quiet aside from a couple cries here and there. I feel like I just had her and its our first night together well it is our first night but I didn't just have her. I'm excited but sweating ha I won't be able to sleep I don't think but its all for her. Hubby is here too. I asked one of the nurses what happens if she takes all her bottles for me but doesn't for anyone else and she just said if she does it for me then she should do it for the nurses...but like I've said before she does this thing where she sleeps or rests for a few then goes back to eating and I feel like when they do that the nurse just goes well I guess we are done and gives up with her. She does that to me a lot. The nurse was like well I guess you will need to commit yourself her which I kind of took offense to. I don't always have a car and when I do I'm here I feed her and if I'm not here I call.

70%

The last I heard Madison took 70% of her feedings by bottle, that was said friday. And they predict that she will be bottling over the week. So to try and get her home my husband and I are doing an overnight with her Sunday night at the hospital in hopes that she will just start taking them all. My mom is saying she could even come home Monday....we will see but I'm hoping this will help her out because she is doing a little more each day. Her due date has come and gone so we are hoping now that she will be home by christmas. I did end up taking the severance package from work so my last day of work is the 30th. So I technically only have 3 days of work left including tomorrow.

I'm not even going to get excited anymore....

this is how it ALWAYS happens. Back to the Oh so lovely Feeding issues! Grrr. So yesterday before a feeding. With the tube that goes down her nose they take a syringe and draw back to check her residuals...and there was 16ccs of food left that she hadn't digested from the feeding before. So with her next feeding they had to give her what the remainder of her feeding would be minus the 16ccs still left which pretty much lowered her feeding. So I don't know whats going on now. It's pretty irritating knowing she "was" closer to home and now there is more of a set back. So on top of not taking all her bottles all the time she isn't digesting much now either. Her due date is 8 days from today....I don't see her being home by then or even being home for Christmas', what the fuck?!

I'm just going to call it, 5lbs

As of 8pm-ish last night Madison weighed in at 4lbs 15.4ozs...she is 5lbs to me. She had her last dose of antibiotics lastnight and is on full feeds 38ccs. She has only been taking 10ccs from the bottle the last day or so, so they are giving her some rest and just putting it down the tube. Her PICC line should be coming out today YAY!!! We got a little tour of the CCN (continuing care nursery) and was showed a possible spot for Madison with the best nurses :) so it looks like just a matter of days before she is moved over there. All we have left or should I say all she has left to do is take her full feeds by bottle and we are on our way home...that and I hope they can get her off the oxygen fully.

Definitely an infection

Infection number....yeah I lost count. She was put on two strong antibiotic meds so it seems to be working and lowering her numbers. She was extubated Friday night and was put back on the low flow canula at 1 liter and she is at 26% oxygen the last I've heard. Last time they had her on 100% and was lowering the liters so I'm thinking they may just try and get her to room air (21%) and go from there. They started her feeds again yesterday at 3PM but she back at 5ccs and will hopefuls move more quickly this time. I fed her a 5cc bottle last night and she is still in the big girl bed. So we just really need her feedings to be up there and her gaining weight from them so she can get off her IV (PICC line) and come home. I'm really hoping they will start upping her feedings more quickly since she was doing good at 15ccs. As you know we did have the baby shower for here I will have pictures at some point. It went well but no one that I invited came : / just one friend of mine one family member (besides my parents and my husbands dad and step mom) and the rest were my moms friends...I was kind of dissapointed. Ah well...can't change it.