Friday

Friday I wake up to cramping again and I call out of work. I search all over for an elective ultrasound spot that would book me for an appointment today. I knew it isn't a diagnostic appointment but regardless I wanted to see my little one and make sure he was okay.

I ended up making an appointment and I got to see my boy all happy and bouncing around. I got some really cool 3D shots of him and a whole video of the ultrasound. I ended up filling the tech in on my history and she was baffled that I would be released given my history and what is currently happening. During the ultrasound she asked if I had a cerclage in place and I said yes. She also stated that she was worried that my cervix shortened even more and that she isn't a nurse or a doctor even but if she were me she would push to be looked after. (She used to work in an MFM office). I told her I agreed.

After the ultrasound she asked if I minded her looking at my cervix I said no, have at it. She got a measurment of 1.4cm abdominally (which I know has a margin of error) so that was okay with me. She was poking around and asked if I were bleeding and I said no, which I wasn't. I thanked her for being so awesome and asked if she had anyone she could refer me to since she had experience in that area. She gave me a number of a place and I left.

Cramping continued off and on throughout the day. I planned a night out with my boyfriend. We were going to have dinner and go to the nearby casino for a few and head home. We had our dinner and as I was walking to the car I felt a little gush. I thought it might have been just a little discharge so I got in the car and we drove the 5 minutes over to the casino. Once I got out of the car I felt my leggings and noticed I had had blood on my hands so we rushed over to L&D again.

I figured wow now I'm being taken seriously. They get me back there ASAP after taking my weight and vitals. I get undressed and given hospital undies and a pad. I was told I couldn't eat or drink anything (luckily I had just has dinner so it wasn't that big of a deal). An hour or two go by and still no doctor to be seen but now I'm gushing blood and this point and I call the nurse in. At this point she goes someone really needs to get down here.

In a matter of 15 minutes it went from zero people in the room except for my boyfriend and I to 5 additional people in this tiny room. I have 2 OBs in the room, 2 Senior Residents and a nurse. They explain they are going to do a speculum exam to check out whats going on. One of the senior residents informs me to avoid have a child with serious health problems they could perform a D&C and terminate my pregnancy (uh no thank you).

So they check out my cervix it is closed and the stitch looks great (as it has been thankfully) they are seeing the bleeding and are really worried about it and aren't sure if its just blood or if my water had broken. They tell me they will perform a bedside ultrasound to see how baby is handling things and how everything else is looking.

Baby is doing great despite the bleeding, the placenta looks great, his fluid is a decent amount it isn't extrememly low but not very high either. They couldn't tell from my ultrasound for certain that the water has broken or not but they can see blood on the ultrasound. I then was told it would be best to admit me and to be monitored. I was also told Saturday morning that I would have a more detailed ultrasound and we would go from there. As of that moment the cerclage stays put and we're just letting the bleed run its course.

A Scare

I had a pretty heavy bleed episode on Sunday about 7:45am. It was on and off for about 8 hours and after passing a huge clot when I went to the bathroom, while out bowling with the kiddo I decided to get checked out at the pregnant lady ER. They did a pelvic exam and at the point (I went there at like 6pm)she said the bleeding is slowing and that my cervix was still closed. An ultrasound was offered and then taken back since I had an ultrasound this past Friday but I made a point to bring up my last pregnancy (which the midwife read through my history) and she I know you requested to have one and said how is that little miracle? 

Little things like reading my history before coming into the room and assuming is great bedside manner. I appreciate her not being in such a rush with me and taking the time to listen to my wants and needs.

I started this pregnancy outside of the hospital I plan on delivering in (which is the one I went to for the ER) to get everything started and then transfer back to them. She even brought up seeing if I would be a candidate for a cerclage (which duh, or I will throw a fit) when I am transferred over and seeing if I need to be seen at Maternal Fetal Medicine so she has really done her homework. 

I followed up with the outside doctor and was able to get an ultrasound today to check on the little, and all looked normal, thank god! 7 weeks and 4 days today. 

Similar to any of you?

Can I get some insight here...so I told you about the bleeding doing a disappearing act on me...still happening even now. Anyway I took another cheapie preggo test yesterday still negative. I woke up today to my daughter wanting to be fed and some serious cramping while feeding her I had this really strong cramp. What is going on? I'm probably really naive to think any type of pregnancy could happen this late in my cycle or lack thereof right?

Early Intervention Friday

Well my suspicions were right. She is pregnant. The last couple times she came to the house for Madison I thought she might have been and today she was like "well in the fall I will be on maternity leave at some point," I KNEW IT! ...I'm a bit jealous but good for her, sort of.

I don't know what has been up with me lately...remember when I was complaining about the odd spotting/blood for weeks and months on end? Well around May 3rd I had it again it only lasted 8 days so I was thinking to myself AWESOME maybe I will have a normal every month, week lasting period thing...well it is now June 11th and I haven't gotten a thing. Just a smear here and there but NOTHING...and yes I have gone the pregnancy test route and well nothing there either as of last week. I was using the cheapies, the ones you dip into the cup that have a max line to dip up to. So what the hell is up!? Seriously I'm bummed I don't have a period and bummed I'm not pregnant.

Anyways since I know some of you ladies follow me from the births boards and some are infertile I am putting a site together a forum for the infertile I know there are a couple out there but there aren't many and I feel like this should be someone people should know about and not be afraid to talk about it. I bought the domain yesterday and I'm just trying to get things set up now. I hope you all will check it out once it is up and running.

We are moved.

and when I say I HATE packing / moving I mean it. We are now snuggled in our 2x4 and have yet to really unpack. We started at 8:30AM and didn't finished getting everything out until 10PM. Well I shouldn't say everything because there is still a computer chair and a bike left but that's it. I'm pretty bummed because I have no clue where that free voucher for the free night and the B&B went and I really wanted to book a night now I look like an ungrateful ass. Well anyways Madison had to go for another contrast test because of how much spitting up she's been doing and the residuals she's been leaving. The last I heard she had 2 large poops since the test began so things were moving. I'm here at work miserable because I didn't get to sleep until pretty much midnight and I had to wake up for 4:45AM. On top of that I think my period has officially started (well hello friend I have seen a real one since I started puberty) if well this is inface what it is because since the babies I had some blood on and off but this was the dark red kind. It doesn't really touch a pad just a couple drops here and there but is nasty when I wipe...real thing? I think its possible. Anyways I'm at work I do have a pad on but feel gross because I don't have anymore and I'd much rather tampons, I stuck my figure through my pants some how pulling them up now I have a huge rip in them and I'm starving because I haven't eaten much. I have money but this cafeteria doesn't take cards and I have no car so I can't get anywhere. Ugh we did Ger the details of the severance package and I think I'm leaning towards signing this bad boy band getting out of here with perks while I can. So I have 9 hours of PTO and I am going to leave this place for 12:30PM use 6 of those hours and get myself together for tomorrow, ha. On the plus side I can go side that's makes me able to see my babes :D

All the December Babies are appearing

11 days from today would have been the twins' due date. I would have loved to know what pregnancy would have been like past 23 weeks. Up until 23 weeks I had no issues (aside from my cervical issues and random bleeding episodes). I didn't have any pain, only threw up once I was just careful and didn't have much of anything to complain about. Now all the December mommies are having their December babies and I missed out on it all. But let me tell you I am wiser. Even though I am sad I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy or have the opportunity to do the things every pregnant women does. I had the opportunity to witness something more amazing that not many women get to. I saw my baby develop before my eyes. Madison had paper thin skin, no ears but a holes in her head for them, no butt just her anus, her eyes were still fused shut, no nipples or eye lashes. Then all of a sudden things changed in the matter of 2 weeks and she looked completely different then when she was born and her eyes started to open. She went from not being able to handle any kind of touch to keeping her levels where the should be when I or my husband would touch her. She went from kicking around a bit with her eyes shut most of the time to being very alert, looking around while bottling and being content. Everyone talks about new born photos but I've been taking photos of her since she was 23 weeks 3 days, 100+ days ago...to me that is when she was newly born. She has been through everything and she doesn't even know it. One day she will read my posts if she is at all interested in how she got here and how hard she fought to stay. She makes me so proud everyday.