with every end comes a new beginning

Well I was told today they wanted to order an ultrasound to take a look at my cervix which is awesome yet terrifying. I've been waiting for that since about 9am. In about 38 minutes it will be a whole 48 hours since Dexter's birth. We put in his birth certificate info and I'm waiting for the lady to get back so we can sign it. We had a little scare last night. I started contracting and I was having more pressure when standing so I had an exam and was told I was 5cm dilated and if I wanted a c section it would be soon. I was then exmained again and was told I was 3cm and they didn't feel bulging membranes so we made it through the night. The next day August 19th was fairly quiet contractions here and there. Pain and contractions got noticeably closer together and stronger around 6:00PM ish so I got examined manually and with an abdominal ultrasound which showed I was about 7cm dilated Madison was breech and her legs and hips were almost on their way out so again if I wanted a c section it was now. And I agreed so a flood of nurses, doctors, and other people came in asking a bunch of questions to get things moving along. I was told not to move one bit because once she is near the vagina there would be no point in doing a c section. So I was preped and ready to go. Wheeled in given the spinal all set up and hubby came in. Everything was so quick one difference this time around was when she came out (I couldn't see her) she was moving all around, and opening her mouth. The other good things were she ended up getting the full dose of the steroid shots and the magnesium sulfate. Her heart rate at birth came down to 90bpm and immediately stabilized her to 120s +. Little Madison Jade was born at 7:12PM August 19th 2011 just 3 days after her brother. And it seems her big brother is looking out for her.

22 weeks 4 days

Well I supposed I'm well overdue for an update. Well from my last post as you may or mayn't know it was to check on Dexter to see if there were anymore fluid. They did find a bit of fluid and his bladder was full so he was still producing urine which is good. Both babies had good heartbeats in the 150s. After that the fill in doctor came in to discuss options especially the one I "picked" with my doctor before leaving which was to remove the cerclage and wait.So I told him I didn't feel comfortable removing it right then so he said he wanted me to be admitted to the hospital to be watched for infection and put on a couple rounds of antibiotics (which would have happened if I. Removed the cerclage anyway). So I say okay but I will be back later after I eat pack a bag and wait for the husband. We end up coming back to the hospital and was admitted around 9pm. Not much happened they checked heartbeats started an IV and antibiotics and that was that.

Fastforward to yesterday still being monitored on IV, antibiotics all that and we get to talking to the doctor again and it kind of sheds new light so the original decision. We don't know what kind of infection I could get with membranes being "possibly" ruptured and a stitch in place. There is a possibility of maternal death which would for sure lead to fetal death. He said there is nothing that can be done for the babies but there is something to lower your risk which would be to remove the stitch. So we sat and thought and decided he was right and decided to go through with it. Before even removing it he made sure we talked to the NICU doctors about what our plans would be if intact he or both babies were born in the next few days and at 22 weeks there really isn't much of a chance. It sounds so heartless but it had to be asked. If we lost Dexter would Madison be able to be saved and he said it depends on the outcome. We talked about if he were born would efforts be made to save him and they said usually at that gestational age we let the parents, or family members hold the baby until he/she passes.
That was really hard for my husband and I to take but it could be reality. We talked about what happens after and funeral arrangements if it were to come to that and it was just so much.

So the plan is with the NICU team is if he is born we want them there, and if it were possible we would like to save Madison. So after that was said and done my stitch was removed and I automatically dilated to 1cm and membranes could be seen. Which brings me to today still in the hospital on bed rest. I had some type of cramping espisode on and off earlier today but it has seemed to stop. I don't know where I am today dilation wise and they won't check unless they really need to. I am hoping to stay quiet and nothing changing for a few weeks or more. Well that is my amazingly long update until tomorrow. Oh and one more thing at the ultrasound Dexter was 1lb 4 oz and Madison was 1lb.