Moving on

I apologize for not posting in about three months I've just been doing a lot of things all at once. Life has been getting better. The husband and I are still apart and plan to stay that way...I will be filing for divorce.

I am officially enrolled in school, I have a car and with my couple nights I get off a week I'm actually doing things for myself. I'm getting back into modeling a bit and just doing awesome stuff. I've met up with a few friends from elementary school and it was so great seeing them and catching up. I've been on a few dates but nothing really came of anything and I don't want to be tired down just yet.

*I did see your comment asking how Madison was a couple months back but forgot to respond I am sorry*

Friday, August 16th we celebrated Dexter and Sunday, August 18th we had Madison's birthday party. Monday, August 19th was her actual birthday and this child is TWO! Can you believe it!? So to answer your questions Madison is doing GREAT, she is just go go go all the time, shes starting to walk more without support, crawling up stairs and will walk up normally with her hand(s) being held.

I was going through photos months ago of her and photos of her now and it's just crazy how much she has grown! I honestly have maybe 5 photos total of her and her father...it's just sad. He came to her Birthday late for about 20 minutes. I had to ask him to sit next to her so I can take a pic. He pretty much ran out of the door with his mother and grandmother. He didn't watch her open presents, or even eat any cake. She screams when either of them hold her...I just feel bad.

They expect me to always be on them to see her and that's not something I want to do..I figure they want to see her they will be in touch...and they aren't. Her dad completely ignores me and well I guess that's how it will be.

Here are some pictures for your viewing enjoyment!

 
                   

 

MY FAVORITE!  Taken Aug 18th

ME :)
Artistic Director: Jennifer Evie
Photographer: James DeMello
Dress: Gifts to Give/ Project Cinderella

It is October

It has reached my time of the year. My love for anything Halloween and crazy and well...it's my birthday month as well and our Halloween 3 year wedding anniversary.

Now comes the question after trick or treating with Madison what the hell will be do for it? My parents are going to take Madison Wednesday and Thursday so...what now? We would LOVE to stay in a hotel for two nights maybe in Boston or NYC but something decently priced with awesome things to do. I was hoping of finding something awesome on Groupon. If any of you come across something cool in those areas would you let me know? My birthday is the 26th so we are thinking of just celebrating that with our anniversary on the 31st.

Madison

One year ago today my life changed. Decisions, suggestions and a bunch of information was thrown at me and it meant nothing. At around 7PM I was brought into surgery, by choice to try and give my unborn daughter a better shot at like. At 7:21PM Madison was delivered by c section. I wasn't listening for her first cry because I knew it wasn't going to happen she was too premature. What I did listen for was her stats and most importantly her heartrate and what they could stabilized it at before going to the NICU. Once I heard 160bpm I knew she would be okay. She was born 1lb 3ozs and only 10 1/2 inches long,. She's had 4 surgeries and life threatening infections that could have killed her. She spent the first four months of her life in the NICU 127 days. Today she is over 15lbs and an extremely loud and energetic ball of fire. I couldn't have imagined a better outcome for her. She has surprised us and her doctors. She is truly a miracle. So on this day we celebrate her life and her struggles because without her I don't know where I would be. Happy First Birthday Madison!

Happy or Not

First of all I want to wish you all a Happy Easter or just a "Hello and thank you for reading!," for those of you who don't celebrate. Madison and I had a little photo shoot so I would like to share a couple photos with you all. But onto so not so awesome news...my husband found out a couple days ago that his father has lymphoma. He went into the hospital a couple weeks ago because he was having really bad pain in his face pretty much thinking he had a sinus thing and after getting his nose reposition and some nasty stuff sucked out that was their finding. His birthday is on Easter also...so thhe family and I will be going to visit. They are having a suprise thing for him with cake and all. Its hard for me to see him the way he is and I feel so awkward being there because I really don't know what to say or how to act...he and his wife were at my side daily while I was in the hospital dealing with what I had to for the babies and I feel like I can't really give that back to him because I can't have Madison really out like that. Life just knows when you tear you down.