21 weeks 1 day

Today started off with a call from my high risks doctor's nurse at around 8:45AM saying after thinkinag it over my doctor decided to go through with the surgery as I was to go to the surgical center when possible so I got ready and that's what I did. I got there a little after 9:0AM and registered. Last nights I was thinking about all the what ifs and everything that could be positive about this surgery again. It was so quick this morning I couldn't really process it and maybe that was a good thing. I went in got all situated and went in for surgery around 11:00AM and was out at around 12:30PM. The surgery felt like it took a while and it did he seemed confident in his work. Its funny before surgery he came in and said how he was going over everything in his had and actually found an article from this year where 21 weekers in my situation with drooping membranes either decided on doing another cerclage or not. Those that did not didn't make it past 22 weeks and those the chose another cerclage made it to 27 weeks so in a way that kind of made the surgery more favorable to him which made me happy. He also said he did talk to two colleagues. Of his about doing the surgery and one said it was completely out of the question while the other said he would go ahead and try it. Now I'm just hoping this one works as it should and there are no complications. He did say after the final exam before leaving the OR that he felt my cervix was long and closed...I kinda want to know what this "long" means, as I went into the or with .3mm of cervix left... Well I'm going to take it easy and give the office a call tomorrow to schedule a follow up although even after it I'm not going to believe a word until there is an ultrasound that gives me a measurement. I also forgot to mention I saw this beautiful monarch butterfly before going into the surgical center this morning and it flew right in front of us I'd like to think that was our baby we lost at 6 weeks watching over us and his/her brother and sister...it put a smile on my face.

21 weeks

Five days ago I had my cervical length follow up and was told I was .5mm but it was more like 4.88mm. Today he said not much of a change either this week (in 5 days) but the shortest measurement was around .3mm so like I said before I would bring up the topic of having a second cerclage placed, which I did. Like before he was against it like the first one but did tell me this time when he did the manual exam he could feel the bag of water past the stitch now. So I feel like its only a matter of time now.

 I was upfront and plain out asked him if I didn't have this cerclage placed do you think I'd still be here right now and he said no that he though the membranes would have ruptured by now which I agreed with him about. So far this stitch has given me 5 weeks and I'm hoping with another stitch I could get another 5+ weeks if there are no complications. A second stitch is the only thing I feel would by more time since the bag of water is going past this one, I feel like there isn't anymore time to waste. This time he would use a balloon to life the bag of water up and stitch around the cervix and tool that holds the balloon then deflate it. I just need to be shown which direction to take I want to know this is the right one.

So I think I will leave it up to the doctor this time he said he will talk over my case with the other doctors tomorrow and that he would get back to me tomorrow and let me know if I will be going in for surgery. If he is still against it I will still feel the need to push it so maybe using his opinion won't work...I don't know. I don't want to have these babies too early my goal is to get to 26 weeks and maybe even past that. I saw them on ultrasound today and they were beautiful.