20 weeks

I woke up feeling postive, I even said these babies probably wouldn't be here still without the cerclage and I'm probably right. But as the day went on you can't help but think about everything that is stacked against you and how small you are in the equation. I dont know if I should be feeling this way but lastnight the husband sprung on me oh his friend and wife are coming over, and me feeling how I do. Do you think I want to see anyone not being able to shower like I would like and just feeling downright crappy? No I don't let alone have them come here with their two kids saying oh are you ready? You can have them anytime you want. Be prepared to be up all night...and here I am thinking I have a slim chance of keeping my babies how can you (knowing my situation) come into my room with your two kids bragging oh they are such good kids blah blah but thats all good for you. When am I going to catch a break really? I'm trying so hard to get them here safe and all those who don't want kids, call their kids accidents come on! I'm thankful I can see them on ultrasound and hope maybe, just maybe I will get to hold them in my arms and have children. Actually survive and thrive, that is my wish.