A journey to pregnancy. My twin pregnancy, cerclage, the 23 week premature birth, death, my NICU baby Madison and everything in between.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Glasses
Madison now has glasses and is considered legally blind without them. It came as somewhat of a surprise since she's done so well without glasses. I knew her eyes were bad but not legally blind bad. It's a struggle keeping them on her face but with time we'll get there. She's doing good, saying more moving around.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
New Beginnings
Madison is too old and too wise for my liking. Such a cleaver girl. So smart it's ridiculous! She's walking way more than she is crawling. She is so silly and just the biggest love of my life and can be the biggest pain in my butt but a pain I would never change. She is just the sweetest and I wish I could have her innocence.
As for what I'm up to I'm still in school and determined to pass all my classes. I can't wait until next semester I'm already wanting to change my classes! I am having the hardest time with math..any suggestions? I'm still doing a little modeling...movie extra stuff when I have the time which I absolutely LOVE! I finally filed for divorce officially so now I'm just kind of waiting on his response.
Now that I think about IVF and everything "we" went through to have these child(ren) it saddens me how selfish someone can be. I still have these frozen embryos I'm supposed to be paying on but haven't, that I will most likely never use because all my eggs were fertilized with a man's sperm I'm no longer with. I'm not sure I'll ever get the chance to have another child without going through IVF I just wish I would've spared some eggs and froze them but who would've known I'd actually get the nerve up to kick him out of my life..
Friday, August 30, 2013
It's official
I am a college student! Just logged into my online classes for the first time. I'm taking one class twice a week, another on a Saturday and two online. I'm finally working towards something and I couldn't be more proud of myself :D
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Moving on
I apologize for not posting in about three months I've just been doing a lot of things all at once. Life has been getting better. The husband and I are still apart and plan to stay that way...I will be filing for divorce.
I am officially enrolled in school, I have a car and with my couple nights I get off a week I'm actually doing things for myself. I'm getting back into modeling a bit and just doing awesome stuff. I've met up with a few friends from elementary school and it was so great seeing them and catching up. I've been on a few dates but nothing really came of anything and I don't want to be tired down just yet.
*I did see your comment asking how Madison was a couple months back but forgot to respond I am sorry*
Friday, August 16th we celebrated Dexter and Sunday, August 18th we had Madison's birthday party. Monday, August 19th was her actual birthday and this child is TWO! Can you believe it!? So to answer your questions Madison is doing GREAT, she is just go go go all the time, shes starting to walk more without support, crawling up stairs and will walk up normally with her hand(s) being held.
I was going through photos months ago of her and photos of her now and it's just crazy how much she has grown! I honestly have maybe 5 photos total of her and her father...it's just sad. He came to her Birthday late for about 20 minutes. I had to ask him to sit next to her so I can take a pic. He pretty much ran out of the door with his mother and grandmother. He didn't watch her open presents, or even eat any cake. She screams when either of them hold her...I just feel bad.
They expect me to always be on them to see her and that's not something I want to do..I figure they want to see her they will be in touch...and they aren't. Her dad completely ignores me and well I guess that's how it will be.
Here are some pictures for your viewing enjoyment!
I am officially enrolled in school, I have a car and with my couple nights I get off a week I'm actually doing things for myself. I'm getting back into modeling a bit and just doing awesome stuff. I've met up with a few friends from elementary school and it was so great seeing them and catching up. I've been on a few dates but nothing really came of anything and I don't want to be tired down just yet.
*I did see your comment asking how Madison was a couple months back but forgot to respond I am sorry*
Friday, August 16th we celebrated Dexter and Sunday, August 18th we had Madison's birthday party. Monday, August 19th was her actual birthday and this child is TWO! Can you believe it!? So to answer your questions Madison is doing GREAT, she is just go go go all the time, shes starting to walk more without support, crawling up stairs and will walk up normally with her hand(s) being held.
I was going through photos months ago of her and photos of her now and it's just crazy how much she has grown! I honestly have maybe 5 photos total of her and her father...it's just sad. He came to her Birthday late for about 20 minutes. I had to ask him to sit next to her so I can take a pic. He pretty much ran out of the door with his mother and grandmother. He didn't watch her open presents, or even eat any cake. She screams when either of them hold her...I just feel bad.
They expect me to always be on them to see her and that's not something I want to do..I figure they want to see her they will be in touch...and they aren't. Her dad completely ignores me and well I guess that's how it will be.
Here are some pictures for your viewing enjoyment!
MY FAVORITE! Taken Aug 18th |
ME :) Artistic Director: Jennifer Evie Photographer: James DeMello Dress: Gifts to Give/ Project Cinderella |
Labels:
23 weeker,
birthday,
car,
Dexter,
life,
madison,
model,
photos,
photoshoot,
plus size,
plussizemodel,
preemie,
school
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Life
Life now is well lonely but somewhat less stressful. I'm just worried about Madison and little things like getting a car and paying bills. I don't have too many but the cellphone and cable bill add up. Madison hasn't been taking a second nap these past few days or have been sleeping through the night for a few months now. It is taking it's toll on me but eh a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.
Madison has 8 teeth now but I think more are making their way in. She gets cuter and cuter. Here are some recent photos for your viewing pleasure :) I better try and get to bed before she wakes up. Good night all! I may get back to posting somewhat regularly for now on.
Madison has 8 teeth now but I think more are making their way in. She gets cuter and cuter. Here are some recent photos for your viewing pleasure :) I better try and get to bed before she wakes up. Good night all! I may get back to posting somewhat regularly for now on.
Playing with her plastic Easter Eggs. |
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Changes
A lot has happened since my last post. My parents and I moved into a bigger place and my husband and I split about two months ago now, leaving me without a car. I have a donations page here: http://www.gofundme.com/help-us-get-a-car to help Madison and I with a car.
Madison is doing well she is 18 months now, 14 adjusted. She is standing and cruises but has yet to take her first steps on her own and I'm okay with that. I'm so not looking forward to running after her just yet. She is obsessed with standing at the TV. Shes pointing and clapping its so great seeing her grow and learn new things. We did the Radiothon again this year, which was fun.
Madison is doing well she is 18 months now, 14 adjusted. She is standing and cruises but has yet to take her first steps on her own and I'm okay with that. I'm so not looking forward to running after her just yet. She is obsessed with standing at the TV. Shes pointing and clapping its so great seeing her grow and learn new things. We did the Radiothon again this year, which was fun.
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