Child birth again

I had a dream a few nights ago...and it was really weird. Maybe its because Dexter has been on my mind a lot, and it just kills me to think about the what ifs and 7 months later I still feel like this is all my fault and if I would have made a different decision the outcome would have been better. So here was the dream it isn't all detailed and there isn't too much to it BUT I dreamt I gave birth and after all that there was no baby. I remember giving birth to Dexter and immediately crying afterward because I knew that was the last time he would be with me. The last time he could be alive without a struggle and it was one the last and only couple times I felt him kick. My husband got a tattoo for him and its beautiful. I will get a picture up for you guys. Its a tiny baby in a womb and its sad but beautiful. I was watching it for him because its on his back and I was saying I get to wash Dexter now :) I miss him so much.