21 weeks 5 days

Tomorrow is my heart appointment, supposed to be getting an EKG hoping nothing is irregular. Wednesday is my post op / cervical length follow up. The nurse said when making the apointment he would want a quick ultrasound which is good for me I will get some cervical numbers and hopefully both babies are doing good especially Dexter since he had to deal with all the distrubance beig that he was right there. I'm feeling good no pain in the area and the spotting ad all has completely stopped. I will be 22 weeks tomorrow which means 2 weeks until I can get the steroid shots for lung development, and a total of 4 weeks to reach my first goal of 26 weeks. I've been thinking about babyshower stuff now but in the back of my mind I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about it at all...I don't know if I'm being selfish or realistic I mean nothing is certain and I would hate to have a ton of baby stuff with no babies. Then I was thinking well if we made it to 2 weeks then have a shower but what if they come right after I won't have anything for them BUT the reality is if they do make it to 28 or maybe a week after...they will most definitely be in the NICU for sometime so maybe after they are born. I feel so guilty not feeling excited about them or getting too attached because I don't want to loose them...ugh.