One year ago today..

Faint second line but its there. April 2nd 2011

One year ago today I got the fainest positive on the second pregnancy test I took. First one being negative. It reassured me that the FET transfer indeed worked (for a second time) and that I was pregnant with the twins. Well it didn't say "this is a twin pregnancy," but we transferred two embryos and I knew they both took and I was for sure pregnant! It was the happiest moment but scariest moment. After knowing for sure I came up with anything that could possibly go wrong. I googled everything...and almost everything I thought of ended up happening. I ended up going to get checked soon after finding out I was probably around 5 weeks because of bleeding and I saw those two strong heartbeats so I knew they we both good and will survive at that point. Or first baby prior to the twins didn't have much of a heartbeat. I thought about bleeding, miscarriage threat being told at 14 weeks I may be 1cm dilated and that once I'm past 12 weeks the threat goes down...well hello I was past 12 weeks. I thought about my mom and how her cervix gave out on her two pregnancies prior to my birth I was the only survivor. I was about 28 weeks give or take born at 1lb 11 1/2ozs. Knowing that I made sure my OB knew I wanted to be checked right away but she didn't want to do it until I reachhed 15 weeks because thats when there would be a change and when I came to get checked that change was a HUGE one. I remember the ultrasound tech checking me and she was very quiet and asked me what I was here for and I said to get a cervical length check and she was quiet again. I remember saying "Is there something wrong? You scaring me." and she told me "you should be scared, you have barely any length left." And I remember balling my eyes out because I told him about this way early on and he just didn't understand." You all know the rest of the story so I won't repeat myself but this just brings back all those memories.
  I think I'm getting the start of my period and I kind of hoped it didn't start. I would LOVE to be pregnant again. But this is probably a good sign. I had what I thought was a period last month and this (whatever it is) has started again around the same time so maybe I'm ovulating...I don't know. For those of you who are like umm you don't know if its a period!? I never got a period before pregnancy unless it was medically induced so maybe my body is catching on and this Metformin is helping with my PCOS...